Monday, January 1, 2018

What Ever Happened to September, October, and November?

One thing that happens to me, quite often, is I get busy.  Like most people, life sometimes gets in the way of our best intentions.  When this happens something always has to drop, normally we drop the thing that we don't "have to do" the thing that isn't necessary to survival...

We have to go to work, we have to go to sleep (I'm not as young as I used to be, when I could work all night)... we have to take care of the house and the children, put food on the table, and pay the bills.  Which means we drop the "frivolous" things, the "niceties" of life...

I drop the following:
I stop going to Yoga.
I stop going to the gym.
I stop brushing my hair... and forget which day I last showered.
I don't even attempt to put on make up or dress in anything other than jeans and t-shirts.
I don't make balanced and nutritious lunches... rather taking any part of a leftover meal or microwave a mac n cheese found in my desk drawer.
I stop making lists, and writing things down in the calendar.

The other thing I do, is stop journaling... part of that making lists and writing things down in the calendar... I stop doing any of it.  I stop communicating.  I have a hard time organizing thoughts, as I am the types of anxious that is slightly obsessive compulsive and have to go back to  the house in the mornings, because I have forgotten something... my lunch, my phone, or a tool for work....  Lists truly help ease my mind and help me focus.

At night I write down everything I can think of for the next day, and pack my bag, pack all the lunches, then remember what I forgot a few times, write them down and then eventually sit down to relax... The alternative to this, is me waking up 3-4 times a night because I keep remembering what else I need to to in the morning, or whatever I may have forgotten to do in the day.  It can drive someone mad...

September started out simply, with a nice big vacation to Jackson, Wyoming to see my sister in law get married to her best friend.  We saw Yellowstone National Park and loved every minute.  Taking 10 days away was great, I was able to take time and layout the month in a way I felt I could manage.  I had inspiration from the mountains around me and how time seemed to slow down.

I was lucky to have the time while in Jackson to layout the month, in the valley of a mountain covered in snow, with a moose outside the sliding door.  I found that writing a weekly list didn't seem relevant, so I make a sketch of all of the things I was in charge of while on vacation.  I do think this layout worked out pretty well.  It made me feel good which is all that matters.  I was in charge of creating chalkboard signs for my sister in laws reception.  Along with keeping track of the places we visited.

However, upon the return to Connecticut I stopped my weekly layouts as all of my evening time was taken up by a side theater project.  Notes written on post its, and scrap pieces of paper.  I found myself covered in paint and staying up till 2 am. This side project lasted up through October.

I found the time to layout my month, however my work schedule kept changing.  Mix in a few dentist and doctor appointments, a new creative work, along with a slew of new 1st and 2nd grade workshops in the mornings, lead to a bit of distraction and confusion.  I ended up just throwing new printout schedules into my journal to keep track of the ever changing information.  That, and I ran out of white out.  I started to feel some pressure creating layouts that were visually appealing.  I had no time to keep track of lists, let alone create new layouts each week.

By the time November rolled around I had decided to take a break.  I took a step back from journaling to see if I was really enjoyed the tasks I was assigning myself and if they were helpful.  Was I being obsessive about my journal.  Trying to outdo myself on every page, constantly updating a d researching new ways to create a layout.  So I simply took a step back.  I created a page to encourage me to stop.  To allow myself a break.  No excuses, I was able to make 1 piece of art to commemorate the month, but I would not track, as usual.  I would fill in an old mood tracker at home at night.  But not travel with this book.

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